Creating a death box might sound like sort of a morbid thing to do, but it’s vitally important.
That’s according to Tammy Vaters, supportive care coordinator at Hospice Huronia-Tomkins House.
“We don’t talk about death and dying,” says Vaters, who leads upcoming workshops on creating a death box or a “legacy box or final wishes box” for those uncomfortable with the more succinct terminology.
“I just wanted to put it out there and call it what it is."
But what exactly does is a death box and how does one go about creating it.
While they're extremely useful in assembling a thoughtful collection of important documents and personal items one's loved one will need after a person's death, they can also be incredibly creative, according to Vaters.
As an example, Vaters death box includes a bottle of Jack Daniel’s for friends and family to perform a toast along with a cooking implement she created for her Mom in grade six.
“It can bring the fun side of the whole process.”
Vaters says the workshop is meant to serve as more of an eye-opening experience since it provides an opportunity to ensure one's family can easily access all necessary information while carrying out one's final wishes without added stress during a difficult time.
“It’s astonishing how many people come to hospice without a plan. This box gives you a place to put all this stuff.”
Besides end-of-life wishes, Vaters says the box can include photos that someone would like displayed at a celebration of life or similar offering along with personalized letters to family and friends and personal mementos that have special meaning.
“It gives you more opportunities of expressing how you feel about somebody,” she says, noting the boxes should also contain usernames and passwords that may aid one's loved ones after death.
“They can be more thoughtful and personal.”
Vaters, who is a specialist in thanatology (the study of death, dying and bereavement), says people will often use another term for death.
“People want to call it (death) something other than what it actually is,” she says. “We’re not comfortable around it, but we’re not going to get there if we don’t talk about it.”
According to Vaters, those creating a death box also start to think about other life issues such as creating a power of attorney for both health and financial matters.
She says the workshop and talking about death also gets people thinking about ensuring they have a will along with letting others know their wishes should they become incapacitated.
“The whole concept is about creating conversations,” she says. “Ultimately, we want to create that peace of mind.”
While workshops slated for later this fall are full, Vaters plans to add more in the new year.
For more information about Hospice Huronia and its programs, click here.
